Bobbi becomes a teacher!

"Immeasurable by worldly standards"

2010-03-06T11:23:00.000-08:00

In response to: http://swellsgirl09.wordpress.com/2010/03/06/playground-politics-a-black-girls-identity/#comment-52

"'What does it take,' I thought, 'to have these girls I spend nearly everyday with see themselves and others like them as intelligent, beautiful, so valuable as to be immeasurable by worldly standards?'" -db

Hmm, sadly in the 8th grade, most of my girls seem to be spiraling down a path in the opposite direction. They are right at the crux between childhood and young womanhood. Glimpses of childhood are evident: playing hand-games after lunch, chasing each other down the hall, suggesting a game of 7-up instead of completing a much needed science review. Even more evident is their struggle to deal with all of the issues poor Black girls must tackle during adolescence. The cliques are rigid and painful to observe as someone that loves them dearly. There are the popular girls, a mixture of the “pretty” girls and the “funny” girls. Constantly seeking attention from the boys, each other, their classmates, even the teachers. I can tell that the “pretty” girls have already internalized that their bodies define their self-worth. Wasting precious instructional time on fixing their hair and applying more lipgloss. Wanting to get As but only for the sake of the A, no real desire to acquire more knowledge – or at least pretending to have no desire . No running around during free time in gym, instead I find them taking pictures for someone’s myspace page: bottoms poked out and middle fingers in the air. I was mortified….my little girls. Their loud voices, sassy gestures, and sour attitudes to some would exude confidence, but I know it is just a mask of their pain. Trying SO hard to act like they don’t care if they fail that science test, they don’t care if they get suspended, they don’t care if that boy grabs their butt.

Due to our small class sizes and strict administration, bullying has become more subtle. The students quickly realized that hurling insults will only land them in the main office with a lengthy writing assignment or suspension for those pesky repeat offenders. Exclusion from the group and a dirty look can sometimes cut deeper than any words. This brings me to the “outcast” group. Not blessed with with light skin, humor, or cute clothes to get them into the popular group these girls forged and alliance out of bitterness and are constantly tormented by the “popular” group. I worry about these girls as well because they too have defined their identities based on their bodies. Clearly insecure, they are easy prey for boys in search of sexual favors. They are excellent students but I worry that their search for acceptance will lead them to dangerous relationships, gang activity, or a host of other distractions.

Finally there are the “quiet” girls. They seem content and well adjusted with their position as “average.” They stay out of trouble with both the teachers and the “popular” girls. But still, I worry. Their needs are often overshadowed by the “popular” girls and the “outcasts.” They are also internalizing society’s notions of what it means to be a woman. One girl provided me with some advice one day: “Miss you need to have some kids.” I replied with a confused look. “Yeah so you won’t be lonely when you get home at night, since you don’t have a husband.” “But I’m not lonely, I have a roommate, and besides I want to wait until I’m married to have kids” “No I think you should have some kids.” Clearly the “quiet” girls need some support as well.

There is a glimmer of hope in one girl. A pretty-smart girl, liked by all, seamlessly glides between the three “cliques” and loves learning just for the sake of learning. She is not ashamed of being smart – in fact she actually flaunts it. Its so refreshing to have a student ask “Can we talk about point of reference when you’re done?” I asked why of course. “Well I was on the bus watching the trees go by and I remembered when we were learning about speed and point of reference. I don’t quite remember what it is so I was wondering if we could go over it.” Wow. This is the closest I can come to a success story. A story that falls short when you add in the line that the 13 year old child has had more “boyfriends” than her 23 year old teacher. This dilemma has actually been one of the most frustrating parts of teaching. Coming from the same community, I know what is at stake for these girls and I know what could lie ahead for those who choose looks over books. I know how easy it is to fall off of the narrow road to success because I've seen it happen…too many times. All I can do is continue to preach self love and self respect, show them through my actions that they are all loved as individuals, and show them through my own life what loving yourself can look like.

ms. b.

The Crows

2009-11-12T16:47:00.000-08:00

A flock of crows has settled around the school.

It's as if they're waiting to pluck off the boys as they fall before reaching manhood.

To corner the girls and gouge out their eyes so they'll be blind to wisdom and reason.

Every morning they sit calling and waiting.

In the trees by the front door.

On the playground.

Next to the basketball court.

They are waiting.

How do you pray for peace when disaster seems so inevitable.

Then you think about your own life, and how's its falling apart

And think,

Maybe the crows,

Are waiting for you.

2009-09-27T12:15:00.000-07:00

I finally finished this post from back in SEPTEMBER. Enjoy! :-)

I passed by some projects in Bridgeport on the train. I was on my way back from New York. Big up to Yams and Niks for making this weekend a blast! But as I passed by the pinkish brown buildings I thought "people actually live like this?" Busted windows, clothes lines strung across a dirty yard. People in CT actually live like this. I thought back to my weekend. Fancy dresses were worn. A little champagne was popped. Music was blasted. We aren't rich but we certainly have a little money to spare. 3 women. And as the song says... young, gifted, and black. All descendants of slaves. Although the ones that did not pick cotton - but cut cane. The ones that stood on a beach with arched backs and long necks, and gazed into the horizon, dreaming of what might lay beyond that sky. How did we manage to move from property to property owner. Undoubtedly, education is a piece of the puzzle. Our ancestors knew this, our parents knew this, and now we know this. Education made up the rungs on our ladder from poverty to prosperity.

While looking at those projects, I remembered that many of my students may live in conditions just like these. One student immediately came to mind. He lives in the worst projects in New Haven, has diabetes and asthma, as well a grandmother dying from cancer. Yes, that is a lot. Passing 8th grade science could not be a priority, right? "We have to cut the kid some slack, we wouldn't be able to do any better in those circumstances..." Something is wrong with this picture. Now if all of our people had that mentality, I'd be cutting cane somewhere.

I acknowledge that the achievement gap is an overwhelming problem, influenced by a number of factors. However, I wouldn't have joined TFA if I didn't believe that it is possible to eliminate this problem through our actions in the classroom. So, I do believe that passing science (as well as math, English, and SS) should be this student's priority (or at least one of them). He's a smart young man, with a lot of potential. How can I convince him that education is his ticket out of poverty? How can I get him to at least do his packet of make-up work so I can give him a D- instead of an F? Well, we'll see what happens tomorrow....

Feminism is about freedom.

2009-08-16T13:18:00.000-07:00

Many of you who are reading this should know me well enough to know that I consider myself a feminist. Although this entry is not explicitly about my experiences while teaching, it is definitely applicable. As young women we must be very careful about the messages we project to young girls. At an event today, I was introduced to a woman and she was excited that I was doing Teach for America. The woman was white, somewhere between 40 and 50 and had two young girls: one 6 and one probably around 4. She introduced me to one of her daughters and complimented me on my dress. She the asked her daughter “Now this woman just graduated from college? Do you think she’s married?” She then quickly ensured that I was in fact unmarried. She then went on to say “No, she’s not married.” I quickly tried to chime in, “I’m not, but I have friends who are!” She went on, “Oh well we’re not talking about your friends we’re talking about you. She’s not married.” She then looked at her daughter and said, “You’re not gonna get married right after college either. You’re gonna have lots of boyfriends and travel the world before you get married right? Cuz your husband could be in China right? He’s probably not in Holyoke right? Maybe not even in America?!” I then had to give a half smile and leave the room.

What the hell!?! First of all, how dare this woman assume that I was unmarried simply because of my age and college graduate status. Secondly, is this really the message mothers should be giving to their daughters???! Whatever happened to: “you can be what ever you want to be, you don’t have to feel pressured to get married, this is what love feels like, this is how a man should treat you when he loves you…” Whatever happened to: “Get married when YOU feel ready, whether you are 21 or 51.” I know people have a right to raise their children how they want to. That woman is probably coming from a place where she felt pressure to get married at a young age. I can understand her impulse to guard her daughters from this and try to get them to wait as long as possible. However, I don’t think that this is the solution. Feminism is supposed to be about freedom. We need to teach our girls that they are now free to be themselves. Free to study what they want to study, have babies or not have babies, wear floral dresses or wear baggy sweats. They are free to have 20 boyfriends over a lifetime or have one and stay with him forever. We must NEVER fall into the trap of CONSTRAINING our girls within our idea of freedom. That is no freedom at all.

Ok, that’s my two cents. Any thoughts??

The final stretch!

2009-08-10T17:22:00.000-07:00

7/24/09

Wow! 3 weeks of teaching have flown by. My 6 kids have come a long way over the past 12 weeks of school. We moved from a 46 average on the diagnostic to an 84! And I feel like some of the insecure ones are beginning to gain more confidence surrounding about their academic skills. Like "J." He started off the summer incredibly quiet. Unusually quiet actually - reminded me of myself, hehe. His diagnostic score was very low and it was clear that he was behind in reading and writing. "J" worked hard to score the 74 on his midterm. That test was the perfect investment tool! Since then, the child has been transformed. Answering questions in class, reading loud and clear, and he hasn't scored anything less than an 80 on a quiz since!

On the other hand there is "M." The aspiring archaeologist who needs a bit of an attitude adjustment. He is by far our strongest student academically, be he hasn't truly embraced learning for the sake of learning. He earned a perfect score on our midterm and accepted our challenge to do the same on the final. :-) I look past "M's" mischievous behavior to see a student who is not being challenged. I'm afraid for him though. Many teachers will just see another troublesome Latino kid. Although I really don't care if he chews come in class, I feel a responsibility to prepare him for the high standards he'll be held to in other classes. You can't do well in class if you're constantly thrown out or suspended. And although you may have all the necessary knowledge, colleges need cold hard facts that come in the form of grades. I don't want "M" to end up wasting his mind like so many other young men in his situation. But I'm afraid my four weeks coupled with my inexperience won't be enough to make a real change.

I shouldn't have favorite students, but if I did have a favorite it would be little "N." "N" is a bright girl, she just doesn't know it. I just can't seem to convince her that she does know the material and her first instinct is likely right. Like "J," she's also gained some confidence since the midterm. Only time will tell if she will have the confidence to ace the final. In fact, I'm excited to see how all of the students will do on the final. I'm sure I will miss them a lot upon returning to CT but I'm also anxious to meet the students I will teach for 10 months. So much time... but never quite enough...

Reflections from Week 1

2009-07-10T18:32:00.000-07:00

July 4, 2009

One week is gone, four are left. 16 days to help 3 students pass their exam and be promoted to the 9th grade. I've sat in so many sessions this week my feet have been swollen at the end of everyday. Sessions on literacy... how to write a lesson plan... what is a lesson plan... classroom management... directions to the teacher's bathroom... all the essentials! It all became very real the day we began administering the DRA or diagnostic reading assessment. I was suddenly transformed from Aisha or Bobbi to Ms. Bobb-Semple. "Miss! I need another piece of paper. Miss! how do I get to room 307." I'm not a Miss! I'm a kid like you! I just graduated from school a month ago. Things became even realer when we began to finish DRAs and calculated the results. 3rd grade reading level... 5th grade reading level... 4th grade reading level - all 8th graders hoping to be promoted to high school. This is why we are there. 15 year olds, 16 year olds all waiting to be promoted.

But then there were glimmers of hope. Like "L," the young lady who was right on target with an 8th or 9th grade level. According to her survey from English class, she always has her nose in a book and dreams of being a doctor so that she can make children smile again. I saw a reflection of myself - although she'll have to fix that attendance problem if she wants to go to med school.

The other highlight of my week was witnessing the commitment of the great people that are "Teach for America." On Wednesday afternoon we were informed that due to their contract, the security staff at our school would need to leave early at 3pm, which meant that we would have to leave too. But we still had one session left! Most organizations would have said - "oh well, break for you guys, we'll squeeze that session in some other time." But we had no time! We start teaching on Monday, we need all the training we can get! lol

Well our amazing school director quickly found a solution. We would continue the day's training in a private dining area in the back of the Mexican restaurant a couple of blocks over. We all giggled at the idea but then enthusiastically gathered our things and walked to the restaurant. We said hello to the owners and walked to the back room. We each ordered a drink and the waiter brought out bowls of freshly fried tortilla chips and some blazin salsa. The session then continued as if this were completely normal. Only a group of super driven people could have managed to stay focused and be productive under such circumstances.

This week has been great despite the late nights. They were totally worth it since I know that on Monday I begin Teaching for America!

Welcome!

2009-06-22T04:05:00.001-07:00

Hi everyone! I'm a new member of the Teach for America - Connecticut 2009 Corps. Teaching will be almost completely new to me so needless to say - I'll be nervous. I've decided to document all of my adventures and trials in this blog. Hopefully I can keep it updated. :-p

Yesterday was the first night of what is known as Induction. It is a week long training filled with tons of workshops and meeting lots of lots of people. At the opening dinner last night we heard from a variety of sources including a current student. They spoke about why our work was so important. The student speaker was particularly impressive. He was an eighth grade student from Stamford and will be attending a prestigious prep school next year. I was almost brought to tears when he spoke about the inequalities he saw around him, and not having access to certain opportunities because he's "not one of those rich people." I saw the pride in his parent's eyes as he left the stage and we gave him a standing ovation. That was all the motivation we needed to boldly step into the next six weeks - which are guaranteed to be painful. Well I figure, they can't be any worse than MIT....right?

There was a phrase from an 08 corps member that really struck me. He said that he joined TFA because he believed that there was "nothing more important he could be doing." And there is really nothing more important that I could be doing. This really may be a once in a lifetime opportunity for me to alter lives in this way. I'm sure that as a doctor I will help others by improving quality of life or even saving lives. As a teacher I can change the direction of lives. I can help my students to see that they are exceptionally gifted and that poor DOES NOT equal stupid. One of the greatest aspects of induction has been meeting so many people that share this sentiment. We are all here because we want to close the achievement gap and perhaps more importantly, we believe that its possible.